State of play is above ground,
the best I have is plenty to be content.
I have many ways I stay sober
and like others, different ways to vent.
Keep me calm in this adventure called life.
I strive to find calm.
Censor my life, and you will be disappointed,
for the poignant things I feel real in here.
I am blessed, but I think God’s ashamed
to see my face and curse my name.
I keep my head up to strive forward,
humble; I will not be vain.
I’m happy with the smiles
and keeping order within chaos
and keeping busy with my mind
as I strive to find what I lost.
I shall not let vampires
suck away at life and value
and tell me how to live and think;
anxiety’s true, so I don’t drink with you.
I find valor and honor in simple ways,
joys of living and breathing today
send me fervor for tomorrow
so that I may live day by day.
I am hurt beyond words,
so I give none,
let me be and keep sane
without turbulence in my brain.
To stir up anxiety is a sin in itself; it strains.
Complexity presses down lazy days let me rest,
so I can set down all stress
and put on truth so to God I confess.
The flesh is weak, but I seek
a way to convey all I have to thank
all who have given me hope
at the end of my rope where all is blank.
I will write new beginnings.
I’m sinning, but I dwell in light,
for I fear the dark of night
for I have no footing to fight.
But I will live day by day
like everyone who has a play
at the table where we create our fable
for each of us to display.
I want happiness for all
and more for you and your pain.
I will not place on you strife;
I hope you do me the same.
Everyone has their hurt,
and I have mine too.
Let me alone so I might
fight on level playing fields true.
The truth of mine is insane;
it’s amazing after all life I’ve faced.
I feel hurt and more every day
by others disgraced.
It makes me hurt deep down
that I could not keep forgot
the things that kept me from life
that others have got.
So I try to move forward
and keep everything above
trite things I hate about myself;
I have finally learned to say fuck love.
Keep my feet to a beat
that allows me hope to breathe
and let these ghosts
that battle within me leave.
RMC 