RMC

When I was younger, I was confused about many ways the world worked. Yet certain values, like working hard and maintaining self-discipline, were made very self-evident to me.

My father worked long hours at his job, and providing for our family placed many demands upon his shoulders, which he handled the best way he could.

Being from a different city in our state, the move to a new city was a transition that required a partnership between him and my mother, one that required faith, dedication, patience, communication, and long hours of work and responsibility. This goes without saying that at times it was saddening and even lonely for me and other members of my family.

Partnership, personal relationships, and the concept of a “team” are, in my mind, molded through experience and interactions with one another, and are different for everyone. The way we, as individuals, cope is also different. I try to understand different views of the world, and how to approach and cope with stress and pain. I try to learn from different people and cultures. This goes without saying that it can be frustrating when I do not understand something.

My parents provided me an opportunity for education. I had the chance, structure, and environment that allowed room for growth, and from different people who led me to become the person I am today.

I was raised largely in a church in the Southern United States. The Christian faith had a tremendous impact on my life. Yet it hasn’t closed my eyes to how others may experience the world or led me to believe I know the secrets to a happy life better than anyone else.

The church had a tremendous impact on my life, as well as my experiences within it. I can remember my Reverend vividly. I can recall him sitting me down in his office with my parents and asking if I understood what it meant to be “reborn” as a Christian before my baptism—having a relationship with Christ and being reborn. Maybe I did at the time. Maybe I didn’t. What I do recollect are things that unfolded before my eyes during certain church services.

I remember an early Easter tradition at my church where we reenacted Jesus Christ being led to Golgotha. Golgotha, or its English translation, “skull,” was depicted during a play where a man, carrying a cross on his back, was led down the aisle of the church by another man playing the role of a Roman soldier.

As he walked toward the pulpit, the man playing the Roman soldier lashed at the actor’s back with a cloth doused in colored dye. It splattered across the back of the actor playing Jesus. I distinctly remember the feeling of disdain I had for the man playing the Roman soldier, even though I knew it was pretend. But the emotion of anger suddenly consumed me. I genuinely felt sorrow for the man he was beating.

I remember one such play—maybe the third or fourth time I saw it—when the dye itself splattered across my khaki pants. My mother was upset by that. Yet, being a silly child, often pinched back into attentiveness during regular Sunday services, I was captivated during the Easter plays by the events unfolding before me.

From the depiction of Christ’s Last Supper, his betrayal, his Roman trial, and people mocking him, to Jesus being led to the place of the skull and tortured—it was his torture that brought me to tears. Every single time. It was shortly after one such play that I determined the tenets of the Christian faith were how I wanted to live my life.

To learn how to forgive, as Christ did while hanging on the cross, slowly suffocating, and yet forgiving a thief who begged for forgiveness at the same time. For this, to me, is what Christianity meant: that though people may persecute or torture you, there is always a chance to repent for your sins and try to forgive others. Which I find is the hardest thing to do. At first, the sight of Jesus’s torture destroyed all the happiness I had inside me. Then, the part of the play where he forgave those who tortured him brought me to tears yet again.

How could Jesus, who was slowly dying on the cross, forgive his tormentors? He did it in prayer. Jesus said, “Into thine hands I commit my spirit,” and, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” as he slowly faded into death, only to die after being stabbed in the abdomen with a soldier’s spear.

My Reverend, as I sat in his office with my parents, thoroughly explained what being a Christian meant. As the course of my life unfolded, many things tested my faith. Many trials were set before me. Yes, I had much opportunity, but many obstacles also fell along the narrow path toward light and hope. The anxieties and stress I experienced, I tried to eliminate in many ways. The way I coped at times was actually shaped by the experiences themselves.

In my faith, I have stumbled. I have doubted Christ before. Sometimes I reflect on what I’ve been through—especially how I can still believe in Christ and God at all. Yet, as I sit and breathe, I believe the fact that I still sit and breathe is evidence enough that there is a God.

To do this, I must have faith. Though stress may consume me, I shouldn’t let it deter me from the basic tenets of Christianity and the lessons my parents taught me as a child. These guidelines were for how someone should live their life and how we should treat other people.

Both my parents were traditional Christians and stern parents. Not abusive by any means, but direct and blunt, to say the least. Still, they have always acted with love and the best intentions.

Life has changed dramatically over the years. Personally, I feel like I’ve lived at least three lifetimes. From the moment I was 17, or a senior in high school, to my current life in my early forties, I have been through many incidents that have tested my spirit.

Repentance is a word that, like any other word, has different meanings for everyone. In my Christian beliefs, repentance requires one key element: honesty with oneself.

This is what I would like to elaborate on, because being honest with oneself, like with anyone else, is an arduous task. It requires knowing who you are, seeing where you misstepped, and actually changing your behavior. This task is incredibly difficult. This tenet of my personal faith, in my opinion, is one that has actually divided Christianity into different divisions.

This is only my opinion, I repeat—my opinion. That being said, I also believe that yes, people can be impulsive and yes, people can be immature. People make decisions and have their own opinions about life. The traditions a person maintains—or doesn’t—and their identity over the years, especially in the way life turns out, is affected by many factors. These challenges are more pronounced today than ever before.

Outside forces impact children’s and adults’ lives more than ever. New science sheds light on facts about life in the universe and here on Earth. Different people from different cultures experience life in different ways.

People’s experiences, the events in life that bring them to tears with humility and moments of change, define who they are as individuals. History has taught us many things, and while history is important, we must also look forward to the life we have before us and be realistic. We must be honest with ourselves. The Bible speaks of how true knowledge is knowing that we know nothing at all. True wisdom is understanding that we, as a human race, may not truly understand one another.

Our purpose, and what is most important to us as individuals, must be a priority. Structure, forgiveness, honor, and respect can be found in the basics of Christianity, most religions, and across many cultures around the world. These basic values are seen and practiced differently as time passes by like sand through an hourglass.

Communication and conversation are evolving. The way we cope with pain and anxiety is also different, changing with every hour, day, week, and year. I think we must learn how to understand one another better. I believe we must leave hate outside the door. I feel that hate comes from not understanding another person. This is why communication is so important, and why, every day, every hour, we must learn to discern for ourselves what is tolerable and what is not.

Yet life is what it is. Life changes. Everyone changes. Darkness finds us all. We, as a society, have different opinions. This piece itself is from my own perspective and experiences. Facts are facts, and feelings are feelings. Yes, life has many meanings, and it is different for people of all cultures and perspectives.